It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
Randomize
