question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
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