I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
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