I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
True strength comes from lack of pants
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
Randomize
