I'm texring you during a blow job. She thinks I'm looking shit up. Fml. Ftw.
just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
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