In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize
