I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
Randomize
