Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
Life without a bra equals bliss.
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
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