GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
Randomize
