I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
Randomize
