God I can't wait to have my phone textbombed every night
we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
Randomize
