accomplished twins. life is a go
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
Randomize
