You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
Let's just say that in a last ditch effort to avoid getting arrested I said to the cop "but I'm not even that drunk" and he proceeded to point out (in front of a crowd) that I had "fucking pissed my pants"
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
