I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
Randomize
