i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
Randomize
