Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
Edward fifth and chaser hands
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
You know you've been on Tinder too long when you're the guy cropped out of the profile pic. Of a woman you're still seeing...
Randomize
