Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
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