nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
Randomize
