Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
No stitches, just platelets and will power
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
Randomize
