I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
Randomize
