You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
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