this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
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