i don't plan on having that self control this summer
It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
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