I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
Randomize
