Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
Randomize
