Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
Randomize
