At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
Randomize
