I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
Had a dream last night that we survived the apocalypse. And we celebrated Christmas.
What did I get you?
A 12 gauge and a bottle of vodka that was waist high.
Sounds about right
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
Randomize
