dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
