at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
Let's just say that in a last ditch effort to avoid getting arrested I said to the cop "but I'm not even that drunk" and he proceeded to point out (in front of a crowd) that I had "fucking pissed my pants"
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Randomize
