That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us�
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
Randomize
