Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
Nothing says "You're all grown up now" like setting up your 401k with shitty underwear.
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
Randomize
