so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
Randomize
