I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
you are never too drunk for berry picking
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
Randomize
