We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
Sext me about skeletons
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
