Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
Randomize
