Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
Randomize
