I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
I just found little boats floating in my bathtub....they are made out of white castle boxes, condoms, pickles, and corks. All the wine we bought is being used as the "ocean"....clearly we didn't drink any of the wine.....but I don't remember doing this.
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
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