i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
I went to the bathroom like 8 times and each time I looked in the mirror and tried saying "I am sober." I burst out laughing when I got to "so-" every time. If you can't convince yourself, you can't convince anyone else. Fuck it, I'm going upstairs and drinking more.
You make your fellow Jews happy.
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
Randomize
