what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
Randomize
