I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
Randomize
