I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
Randomize
