toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
Tonight i am praying for god to turn my pussy into apple pie because i cant count the number of times bruce chooses food over sex.
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
The best thing about my promotion is that I now have an office with a door. I can take my naps in peace instead of leaning my head against the stall in the bathroom.
I can't believe they pay you six figures. I hate you.
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
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