Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
Who died my cat blue again?
He's on the porch naked. Help.
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
Randomize
