True true and the only thing that will burn more than the vodka we will consume is the shame in our loved one's eyes
And yet we make it a tradition to get inappropriately drunk at family functions. We amaze me.
At least it's not a funeral this time... I feel we're making improvements.
She just used a chaser for red wine.
I just found a 1/2 inch of mimosa in my shoe.
You should get more absorbent shoes.
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
Randomize
