Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
Randomize
