and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
Randomize
