Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
Randomize
