bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
Randomize
