I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
I don't know how to explain to you that you tried to recreate the bit from the Dana Carvey show where a guy dressed as Bill Clinton breastfeeds a bunch of puppies
Randomize
